ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
