My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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