you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just googled if crying burns calories
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
