I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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