break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
