the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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