Midget sex pt 2 tonight
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
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Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
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Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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