so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
