Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
