Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
