Buhtt sex?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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