Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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