I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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