and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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