Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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