David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize