I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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