The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
