yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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