so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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