it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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