Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How's work?
Spinning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
