I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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