I wish i was in the wii world.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
