i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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