It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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