An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The beer is more important than you right now.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
