East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
