I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
