Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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