So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
