I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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