i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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