So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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