I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I looked at my own cervix.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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