my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
