I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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