Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
