i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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