I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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