he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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