elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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