yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
