xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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