Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
