mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
be right there i have to get my cape
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
