he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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