Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
