I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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