She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
