if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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