When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
