saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
