Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
