do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
