okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
