I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
