id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
