Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...