the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just want nice things and good sex
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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