I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper