I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize