It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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